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President Obama topless. Who’s the boob now?
Gay activists, led by blogger Perez Hilton, were up in arms today after President Barack Obama said he opposed gay marriage.
Actually, Obama said that months ago, but Hilton just found out after hearing it from Donald Trump on Tuesday.
Hilton immediately swished into action with his usual gentlemanly flair, calling President Obama a “dumb bitch” on his blog.
Asked whether that was an appropriate thing to call the president, Hilton said, “I actually meant to call him the c-word, but I can’t spell it.”
But that didn’t stop the blogger from proclaiming that Obama must go.
“I want to snatch the crown right from his head,” Hilton said.
SATIRE
Adding fuel to the controversy was the revelation by the gossip mongers at TMZ that Obama, generally considered an upstanding guy, had actually posed for several topless photos, but had not noted that on his application to run for president.
Officials at the Miss California USA pageant were holding an urgent meeting to determine if they should take back their November votes for Obama. Pageant co-director Shanna Moakler, taking a break during a nude photo shoot for Playboy magazine, said, “It’s normally not our place to tell other people what they can believe, but what the heck? We don’t need a president who’s running around topless. Besides, he has to represent all the people, not just the ones who can get married.”
Asked if it wouldn’t offend some straight, married couples if Obama supported gay marriage, Moakler said, “I’m sure it would, but that’s OK. We need to have diversity in America, and those people can just shut up and go someplace else.”
In urging the president to give up his crown, Moakler and co-director Keith Lewis appointed the presidential runner-up, John McCain, to be “Beauty America Ambassador” and fulfill Obama’s ceremonial duties.
Asked about the topless photos of Obama, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said some of the pictures in question had been taken during a windy day, in between events at a regularly scheduled photo shoot. He said another, earlier topless photo of Obama had been taken by his wife, Michelle, as part of his application for the U.S. Senate and had not been intended for publication.
Emanuel said he didn’t see anything wrong with the photos and that, even though some were more risque than others, “some are quite beautiful, actually. In fact, I blew up one of them to life-size for my bedroom wall.”
Hilton, Moakler and Lewis weren’t accepting any explanations, however, and petitioned for Miss USA pageant owner Donald Trump to decide whether Obama should be stripped of his title.
At a press conference today, Trump’s only comment was, “You people really need to get a life.”